I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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