I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
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