Your tits are I can't wait for
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
