Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
