you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
