How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
