that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
