I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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