I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
