You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
