I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
