what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
