You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
