turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
