Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
