i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
