I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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