He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
