Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i believe in u and ur pee
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
