I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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