8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
