Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
