But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
