butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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