i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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