It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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