Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she looked like the before picture.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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