We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
