Someone shit on the floor
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
