nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
