chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
