i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The adults are the big ones right?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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