He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
