I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
