she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
