Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
