Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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