FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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