so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
