its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
