i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
