How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
