He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
this will be a night to untag.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
where are you?
Hypothermia
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
