I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
