therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
