You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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