Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
