We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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