Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
