i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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