his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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